Secretly Pregnant

There's a show on TV right now with the title above and it makes me blush a little. Because when I found out I was pregnant, I swore the boyfriend to secrecy. The first three months are easy to get away with. Especially as I didn't have any morning sickness and I already had a wardrobe that was customized to hide a small beer belly. I would skip rounds at the bar and sneak up to the bartender to order NA beer, in a glass, the bottle quickly discarded. I would feign exhaustion at the end of the day in order to bow out of the wine bar happy hour. It was a perfect time to just WORK - because that was the only time of day that I had good energy, and when I went home it was only to eat dinner, relax and go to bed early. Hence every day I felt good. And it being a freelance job, I wasn't sure if it was worth telling my coworkers. I was only booked for 2 week chunks at a time, but as August turned to autumn, and then it looked as if I'd be booked until the end of the year...finally at 14 weeks I had to come out with it. I thought I had hid it well enough. 

Boyfriend and I were working on shotgun wedding plans so I asked him to expedite the engagement ring, so that I would feel comfortable sharing my Irish American Scandal (this is how it was going over at home, at least) with my work buddies. They've known me for so long, as I used to work there in my 20s, that I really felt it was important news to share. The ring brought in a flood of questions that had been lingering in people's minds already. My gorgeously awesome gay coworker had been asking another producer if I was pregnant at least a month prior. The husband of a friend who I pass every day was sure of it weeks prior too. My closest friend at work took one look at the ring, and said, "Is that a new ring? What is that? Are you engaged? Are you pregnant! I knew it you only had one Guinness at happy hour. That's a pregnant lady drink!" So it was all out and I was so relieved. People were so happy!? People were gentler with me. I could now wear whatever I wanted (my wish list being only leggings and dresses) and walk how I wanted and forget about squeezing into my jeans with the pregnancy band. (Baggy butt jeans tipped my boss off too - that and all the doctor's appointments.)

And when I asked a friend of mine at home if a new belt I bought for my ribcage made me look too pregnant, I was met with a sarcastic smile. "Is the game over?" "Girl, you were talking about 'hiding it at work' weeks ago and it was over then." Ooops. Oh well. There WAS one girl that assumed I had had "too many bagels." I can't believe I was going for the look where I would prefer people think I was just getting fat. Because I'm actually a really cute pregnant person, I must say.

E.