I know it will eventually feel good to get back to work, and I am entertaining the opportunity to work part time as well. Freelancing pays well enough that it will be sufficient even if its only 20 hours a week or so. Not saving for a house next year sufficient, but more like, I am bringing in some good money after not having worked for 5 months sufficient. Enough to justify the nanny. Which brings me to the other issues that are coming to mind now when I think about work:* The nanny, indeed. This has to be worked out once I figure out my start date, my hours, or days if its part time. There's no point in setting things down in stone now without more details. Who knows if I will even work in September after all? But I'm talking to people so chances are, it will be sometime soon. We have a friend who is interested, who has another family who wants to nanny share, but its not in a neighborhood I like. If the price is the same, might it be just as well to hire a professional who can come to my home? This will all be worked out when the time is right I suppose.
*Clothes. Oh how I used to love to be a bit fashionable! In my alternative 90s sort of take on it. Black boots, slim skirts, chunky silver earrings. But now none of my cute clothes fit so I guess I will be back to a pregnancy sort of wardrobe of leggings and tunics until all that walking to work pays off. Still, it sucks to work in advertising and not dress exactly how you would like to. There's not much else that's interesting - some days - than what your girlfriends at work are wearing, planning to wear, found online, or bought at lunchtime.
*Attention span. As I mentioned before, I don't feel as if I'm not as smart or sharp as I was before baby, or pregnancy. But there is a strange phenomenon going on. Sometimes motoboy or a friend will be telling a story and suddenly I will notice that 10 seconds or so have passed and I stopped listening completely. I have to try to hit rewind in my head or just listen more intently to catch up, nodding away. What if this happens in a meeting when someone is telling me a key piece of information? Must remember to always be taking notes. And to maybe up my tea time intervals.
*Baby withdrawal. I remember women coming back to work and being asked if it was hard to leave their babies at home and these same women just bursting into tears. Granted, these were account management types (think pretty Lincoln Park girls with business degrees) who came back after 6 weeks or 3 months. While I haven't left baby for more than 7 hours, I'm hoping it will be a little easier for me, knowing how far along she is. It's not like having to say goodbye to a helpless newborn who only drinks breastmilk. My bebe looooves her some Target formula. And boobies too. So I might only have to pump my meager amount (I think I get 2-3 ounces TOPS, at a go) maybe once in the middle of the day. But I am more worried about the emotional attachment. Not worried enough that I think I want to stay home until she is four, because well hello DOLLAS. Mama likes to make dem DOLLAS.
And the awesome thing about being a freelancer is that I have no idea when and if and how this is all going to work out. In the meantime, back to maternity leave. Daddy should be home in T minus 2.5 hours and then its happy hour and mama's night out. And the weekend for the family! I deserve it this week. It was uneventful and tiring for some reason. But oh so darling at the same time.
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