Stress Bomb

There's a twitch under my right eye that has been steadily beating away for about three days now. But I knew I was stressed before then. Its my lot right now, my choice really. To choose freelancing over a staff job when you also have to think about child care is a bit tricky. It never bothered me before about the renewal of a contract on a Friday for a Monday. But now trying to book childcare this way, without the benevolence of our dear friend nanny who has to leave us now to have her own baby, is proving to be tricky indeed.

It's just that she's the most precious thing that we have ever been in charge of. And yes, we have to hire a total stranger to be responsible more waking hours of the day than we are with her. Oh god, I'm making it worse. Breathe. Unclench jaw. Wait. (I'm waiting to hear on a nanny share, but if they turn us down, it's back to the drawing board.) (Oh right, as soon as I know I am booked.)

And then on top of all this running static in my head, we decided to speak to a mortgage broker to get a pre-approval letter in case we see a house we might like. Owing a house has never been a big passion of mine. I'm not nuts about spending money in general, let alone tens of thousands of dollars for a down payment. I've been keeping tabs on Chicago real estate for months, so when I found out what we should be spending, I got a bit disinterested even more. Motoboy put me at ease by reminding me that we are not going to buy just because we can. Renting is always an option, and in Chicago you can rent in just about any neighborhood or school district you fancy. So that's just another thing to put on the busy burner that is my mind of late.

Work. Baby (which is the fun part). Nanny? House Winter. Work. Booked? Baby. WINE.

Wine and open mouthed baby kisses on my cheeks filled with teeny tiny baby teeth make it all worth it.

xx