Single Mom For The Weekend

When I first met M, he was pretty anti-kids. The thought of being burdened with them made him viscerally react, shiver, and make strange faces. This was until I told him I couldn't really be with someone long term who completely shunned the idea. So he stopped making faces at least. But he still felt that it should be illegal for them to fly on airplanes. Unless they were ours. Then it would be ok. Because it was the dictatorship of M. This is a typical thought process for him.

So when we talked about finally having kids, I assured him that he would still be able to do the things he loved - namely racing vintage motorcycles. Timing was bad but we made it work. He had been roped into volunteering for a program that helped teach high school kids how to build a vintage racing bike, and this project started at the end of my pregnancy and finished up when the baby was about a month and a half old. So there were quite a few nights there toward the end when I was home alone with the baby, being very understanding about deadlines and parts missing and vendors who didn't come through etc etc.

There were two local races that he decided to hit, in order to be qualified for the best venue which is in October in Alabama. I agree that this racetrack is the most beautiful, well attended and a good time, cos I was there two years ago. The only problem was that these two local races were back to back weekends. I had thought, in my crazy pregnancy stage, that the baby and I would join him for the first one in Elkhart Lake, a beautiful little town in Wisconsin. And for the second weekend I would just jump on a plane and go to Maine to visit a friend. And then reality hit. I have a TWO MONTH OLD. Who hates the car. Who randomly has crying fits. She is tiny. And we can't do any of this right now.

So despite the fact that I was looking at two weekends home alone, he didn't change any plans, nor did I directly ask him to. I called in my troops - my bestie came from Ohio with her two adorable daughters and we all camped out in the house the first weekend and had a blast. The second weekend was a bit trickier - I had my girlfriends come around but I was really alone for some of those sunset crying jags that she has. Three days at 24 hours a day is a really long shift. You wake up in the morning, hopefully armed with a bit of good night's sleep (she was kind to me in this respect at least) and you just brace for the day and hope for the best. Mornings are usually good as its the only time where I've really worked out any sort of schedule. After her first nap it's anything goes. You might get another nap, a long one or a short one, or you might not. She might get fussy, not want the carrier, or the stroller. It might be too hot to do anything outside anyway so you have to play in the house. There's no relief coming at 5.30 or 6. You just have to keep on going. And she tends to fuss from 6-10pm, usually not really going to sleep until midnight, so that's another really long shift. I'm dancing her in the baby bjorn in front of the stereo thinking about how I will tell her about this some day, and hopefully remember the songs that got her to sleep the quickest. And then I watch a movie on the edge of the couch because she doesn't like it when you lean back. But she's asleep, and quiet, and so sweet that I'll take it.

Single moms get my R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  Sing it sista Aretha. But I would totally move grandma in if it were me. Doing it alone was a big mistake, and way too much work. I did ok, but it wasn't worth all the frustration (and cursing at my MIA husband). Next time I won't be as brave.