My Other Writing

Listen. I know this blog isn't very good. I know this because I don't try very hard at it. I'm tired of trying to be cute, or clever, or in the zeitgeist of whatever is trendy online that week. Blogs are over with anyway. Remember before facebook or twitter, when if a video was going viral you had to actually copy and paste the embed language into your blog post? Now I can just tap and put it on facebook and you can glance at it, laugh, and be over the joke - all in the time it used to take me to post it.

This blog serves a much more selfish purpose. I don't even care if anyone reads it, and I don't promote it or tell anyone about it. Not surprisingly, no one asks to see it even when I casually mention I have one. I'm writing this to remember. My friends who have kids 3, 4, 5 years older than my girl can't remember anything about the infant years. Its all such a blur, so they are terrible at advice giving. Your brain has to make room for new things like learning to read and school choices and nutrition I suppose. I get it. But I've kept in touch with my friends who had babies also this year because they REMEMBER. The sympathy is more fresh, and the advice more on topic. I'm going to enjoy flipping back here and revisiting our struggles with firsts - sleeping, feeding, staying above water in every which way. There is nothing more challenging than this. I thought it was a joke before I got pregnant. THIS IS NO JOKE. But I wouldn't change a damn thing for the life of me.

So in this vein I'm also working on a TV pilot idea about all this stuff. I imagine its been done before. Certainly successful TV writers have kids and see the opportunity for new material? I won't let on my exact angle because I don't want anyone to beat me to the punch. At this once-weekly writing session  type schedule, it might take a while. And I have a lot more material to gather at any rate. So here's an excerpt of a draft, I hope you enjoy it. All three of you. I love you!

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CUT TO: A different darker rock bar, later that night. MARY is talking to ZOE, who is headed into the bathroom.

MARY: I’ll meet you at the bar!

MARY approaches the bar and a friendly tattooed female bartender gives her a nod.

BARTENDER: I’ll be right with you.

MARY: Ok!

Mary fidgets and stacks all the coasters in sight, taking furtive glances toward the bathroom.

BARTENDER: What can I get you?

MARY: Do you have any N.A. beer?

BARTENDER: Any what?

MARY: NON-ALCOHOLIC. Non-Alcoholic beer.

BARTENDER: Oh yeah, I’ve got Becks NA, O’Douls...

MARY: Becks, Beck’s I’ll take that. And a glass please.

The bartender nods her head and takes a few more minutes to get the beer, MARY is practically leaned all the way over the bar and has her money ready.

BARTENDER: Five bucks.

MARY: Here you go, thanks.

MARY pours the beer into a glass and slides the empty beer bottle near some others by the time the bartender returns with the change. At the same moment her friend ZOE returns from the bathroom. There’s a fine line of sweat above MARY’s brow.

ZOE: I told you I was getting the next round birthday girl.

MARY: Oh sorry you know me, always first one at the bar! Should we see if anyone is upstairs?

ZOE & MARY come out to a rooftop deck and see 4-5 of the original crew who were at the cocktail bar.  

BETH is there, with a small group of other girls and a few guys.

BETH: Oh look I got you a gin and tonic! It’s ginormous isn’t that funny its bigger than my regular tonic ha ha ha!

MARY, confused, takes the drink and gives BETH a look to take it down a notch.

VICTORIA: I was so shocked Beth ordered a regular tonic at the bar, I said ‘is something going on you haven’t told me about’?

BETH & MARY (forced): HA HA HA.

MARY: Anyhoo, have you guys ordered some food? I’m kinda starving.